Diary Entry Nineteen: Inconsideration

It amazes me how people can manage to be so inconsiderate. Someone who is far over-worked and under-paid works his hind quarters off to make sure something YOU want is as good as it can possibly be and you never think to give something back? You never think maybe he doesn't want to do all this crap for you but does it anyway because he wants your performance to be as perfect as you see it in your head?

You know, I understand my generation is full of unappreciative people who couldn't give a crap about whose feelings they hurt or who they step over because all that matters is getting to the top of their own little world, but sometimes you need to take a step back and realise that someone is really working hard for you to succeed in that megalomanic world you inhabit inside your one-track mind. That person hasn't slept properly for over a month to make sure your videos are finished on time and your lighting is just right. Not once have you ever thought maybe it'd be nice to help him or even have a friendly conversation with him, what you forget is that he's not there to work for you, he's there to help your work work.

The technical side of theatre is a lot more interesting than the side of it you see. Without understanding what goes on in that little room in the corner you've no idea. What is a GMX or a CAT-5? How you connect a dimmer pack to a lighting desk? What button do you push twice so the flash buttons make all the other lights go off except the one you're toggling? Know the answers to all these questions? No, I didn't think so. If you knew the answers to even one of those you'd know what you're dealing with is an expert and someone you should respect.

A while ago I found myself being deeply interested in the technical side of theatre. When I delved further into it I found a somewhat natural ability to work in this situation. I love it, back-stage is so much more interesting than front of house. The noises; the lights; the feel of a slider's resistance beneath my finger, it's mesmerising. Since working with the aforementioned under-appreciated person I've found nothing but respect for him, he works long hours and much of his free time is taken up by the wants of those who don't understand what he does. I like to think I'm more of a help to him than a hindrance but sometimes I wonder.

 Not only does this work interest me greatly but I like to think I'm giving something back by helping out in the department. Awkwardly my own project is one of the most complicated and probably the one he could most use my assistance in conducting but such is life, all I can do is help make it as simple as complex can be made; paradoxical so it may seem.

One man doing 2 men's jobs. Hopefully my contribution helps in some small way.