Diary Entry Eighteen: Bad karma and Babies

Oh my was today a rough day as far as karma goes. I managed to get soaked on my way to school because the river near where I live burst its banks and I had to wade up a road through it. At the end of the day; just before I left to go home, I slipped on mud and caked most of my trousers and a bit of my shirt as-well as my arm and hand. Joy. To add insult to injury I spent most of the day getting my thumb (which I cut open when sawing wood on Friday) caught on just about everything. There were other things to do with drills and being cold too but they're mundane.

I was worst affected by getting wet, the first day in over a month I wear shoes which aren't walking boots my feet get wet. Those around me will tell you the one thing I really, really can't stand is having wet feet. I hate it. But it could always be worst.

One of my friends had a baby on the 31st January, today she bought her daughter into school to see us and oh my days, she is so, so cute. I really don't like kids much and I was getting broody. Insane. It was nice to meet her, she seems to have a personality all of her own already and I'm certainly proud of my friend for producing such a perfect little person. It's going to be fun watching a friend's child grow up, I've no doubt she'll be as clever and amazing as her mum. I will be known as 'Uncle Alex' if it's the last thing I do. Congrats again Z.

I'm going to go ahead and do some work now. I might design some lighting too.

Alex

Diary Entry Seventeen: The Day of Reckoning Is Not Yet Nigh!

The faeces did not hit the rotary cooling system as I expected it to. Joyous I know, but it's not all good.

My day started terribly, I awoke without problem, my morning rituals continued to be their mundanely successful selves and I left the house in good time. I got about half way to school before losing the back tyre of my bicycle on a layer of wet leaves, there was a lot of pain and I banged my head, luckily I am intelligent enough to wear a helmet but I'm sure it's now impacted. I pushed my bike home and got changed, cleaned the dirt off myself and walked to school. By the time I got there I'd missed my first lesson and most of my second. That, more than anything else, angered me. Today was my fresh start and I blew it because I wasn't paying attention to what was on the road below me.

A couple of hours in the drama department made my day improve greatly. 

My step-dad was meant to be seeing my head of year today, try to sort out these problems I'm having with my education. He doesn't know half of how terrible this year has been so far and I wasn't looking forward to him finding out either. My head of year was in a meeting when my step-dad was free so they appointed to see one another on Thursday. That's very bad for me. My mum comes home on Wednesday for a few days. I've no doubt she will be there too. People who know me will tell you I'm scared of very little but my mother, she is not a force to be reckoned with. I can safely say I am scared. Very scared. I'll try not to lose sleep on it.

See you in the next one.

Alex

Diary Entry Sixteen: Remembering The Past

You know when someone you used to know well pops back into your life? No? Well it happened earlier today. There I was organising my accounts when all of a sudden this person comes into my mind. So off I trot on a search to see if I can't track her down. Within seconds I've found her and within an hour our pages are connected. I haven't yet spoken to her but it got me to wondering whatever did happen to all the connections I once had.

I've led a very varied life for one so young, being a forces brat I've never really had the same sense of keeping connections as the majority of people. I suppose many would look at it as rude but I find it dreadfully difficult to keep up with people I no longer see on a regular basis. My friends in Cyprus; for instance, from most of whom I've not heard since my leaving are probably all in the same boat. In that lifestyle one must learn to forge very strong relationships very quickly - and that we did - but one also had to learn to get over those relationships very quickly when they were no longer in front of one's face. I understand it's a confusing concept but once one has lived it one gains a much better understanding of it.

Of course it goes without saying that I have many friends from my past with whom I shall never lose contact: H, A, F, R, G, of course the list continues to a great length but living in the present means that the friends I have surrounding me must be in the fore-front of my mind. I love everyone I've ever known very dearly and none will ever become victim to my ever-forgetting mind.

In lieu of being anywhere near the person I was speaking of before my transcendence into spiel I will have to hope our old relationship may be rebuilt in the cyber world. I can't wait to talk with her again; it has been far too long, she looks like life is treating her well.

That's it for today, friends, tomorrow the proverbial faecal matter is destined to hit the rotary cooling mechanism. Best of luck to you all should my ultimate demise be caused by the distress of my Loco Parenti.

Alex

Diary Entry Fifteen: Time for Change.

I'm back and I missed you!

So a lot's happened since my last post. I mean I was really down at the time. My life's been pretty aimless since September and nothing has worked for me. I was in a vicious circle of misery which stopped me functioning in just about every way. It's not getting any better either, but it could certainly be worse.

The want to be a normal teenager and have a good time pushed me into a life which in no-way suited who I am as a person. I was incredibly stupid and let that lifestyle pull me too far away from where I should have been; it nearly cost me my education. Now I must pay for it by keeping my nose to the grindstone and pushing my way through the next ten weeks before I may once again relax. It's crunch time and I need a B and a C to get me where I want to be. 

Anyway, whilst wallowing in self-pity for the past five months I've learned a lot about myself, most important of which being that my application to university for Speech & Language Therapy was totally pointless as I don't have enough interest in the subject to make it my life's vocation. Upon this realisation I umm'd and ahh'dfor several weeks about what it was I should do. Then I remembered the wayward dream I've always dreamed, the calling I never indulged, the song to which I've never sung along. 

My life has reason again and I'm ready for it. I'm going to get this world in the ring and kick it's ass. I'm going to give 100% until I'm the best. Because my name is Alex ******* and nothing is going to stand in my way.

See you on the next one.

Alex.

Diary Entry Fourteen: Hey, who're you?

Ok, so 5 months isn't that bad is it? Sorry.

So... I'm not with Squee anymore... I stopped writing because I was so preoccupied with her. She has ITP. She wnet into hospital on the 21st May. All the time after that it all sort fo got mixd up and we were spending as much time together as we could... Obviously, a teen couple would spend all summer together anyway.

I was meant to be moving to Germany... I mentioned that... I didn't go in the end. My mum had to go, but I sayed here with my step-dad.

Squee and I split up in August. Two days before our A-level results were released.

It's been pretty shit ever since. I'm currently caught in a viscious circle of not having any money to do interesting stuff, but also feeling unfulfilled in life. It'll get better I'm sure.

'Til next time.

Alex

Diary Entry Thirteen: It's been a while

Two weeks... You don't call! You don't write! I don't know...

Sorry I didn't write for a couple of weeks I've been uber bogged down with coursework and revision because THE EXAM SEASON HAS STARTED.

It makes me want to scream.

I feel kind of bad if I'm honest because my Media Studies coursework wnt down the sh*tter. Forgot to hand in almost all of the written work accompanying the production task but I'm not going to lose sleep over it, I already have an AS level in it so I'm guaranteed a place on the course next year.

I don't know if you've heard but, sadly, there was an incident at a school in Kent today when a heating duct collapsed and injure 14 students sitting an exam. It's a terrible accident and, thankfully, no-one was killed or is said to hav life-threatening injuries.
They were a bunch of year 9 (8th grade to all the yanks out there) students sitting their SAT exams. A level sociology exams were happening all over the country at the same time. Lucky it wasn't one of them.
Not that it's not as terrible, but SAT exams are easier to get around than A levels. You don't need SATs to get into university, know what I mean.

Being in love rocks doesn't it...

I was having serious heart burn problems a week back, but now they're all better because the doctor gave me some meds to get rid of it. They reckon it's probably stress induced, so I'm on the meds until after my exams.
On another medical note: I finally got rid of my retainer. Now I have a fixed one meaning I can suck my thumb again safe in the knowledge that my teeth are anchored down.

Mum's in Germany for an interview, so Phil and I are having man food: cottage pie, chips and beans. PROPERRRRRRR

Laters


Alex

xxx

Diary Entry Twelve: I F*****g Love Mash!

I just got back from S's.

You know what, screw it. I'm in love with her so she deserves to be known. S is called Squee, not her real name but it's what she's called.

So I just got back from Squee's. I wasn't expecting to spend today with her but it would appear that I did. I got a text earlier asking if I wante to join her on a quest to LIDL to buy Choco Softies (Mini Dickmans to anyone who's ever been to Germany). Anyway, I had to go and renew my Yound Person's Railcard but I told her I'd come over when I was done with that. So off to Ryde I went, then up to Squee's I went.

As per usual we kissed, hugged, all the wonderful couply stuff we should, then off to LIDL we went. We bought: Choco Softies, German peanut M&Ms, a lasagne, some mints for Minnie Moose and some Chewits.

On our way out we got a call from D, S and A. They wanted us to hang with them. We went home - I say home, I count Squee's house as my second home - ate the lasagne in front of Cartoon Network and then headed to play mini golf with the guys. We got to town, called them to ask why they weren't there and realised we were in the wrong town. Ten minutes drive later we were in the right place.

We played golf, flirted, I lost miserably; blatently bcause I wanted Squee to do better than me - OK, I'll admit I'm crap.

The rest of the day is history really and doesn't matter too much, we were together, two fated teenagers, in love, sharing dreams and plans. We named our kids... Eli Edward and Molly Mae.

I can't wait to spend forever with this girl.

Alex

xx